Cats vs. Dogs and Being Sick

Our little doggy friend came up to stay with us last night. She enjoyed jumping into the cab of Dwayne's tractor and riding around on the property with him. While he was outside with her I was inside with my cats, talking to mom about my dad and a process that I had just completed. My mother was so supportive I could tell she understood what I was going through.

As I'm sitting their petting my cat Fluff, which by the way my dad loved cats. He never got to see these guys because he had already moved prior their arrival. But as I'm petting him and realizing how much attention he's wanting right now it hit me.

The difference between a cat and a dog is a cat doesn't care whether you love it or not. It's just going to jump in your lap, put him/herself in front of you on the computer, walk underneath your feet and jump in the shower with you. Simply because at that moment the cat is all giving and receiving all at the same time. Have you ever really felt a cat as it puts its paws or head on you? It's total release, trust, and companionship.



But then it doesn't need you anymore. No matter how hard you try, if you need that cat you can forget about it. It's not going to lay in your lap just because you want it to but because it wants to.

A dog on the other hand, we train it to do exactly what we "want" or "need" from the animal. If a dog started doing what it wanted to do maybe it would be ignored, beat or left outside, or better yet left along side the road for someone else to deal with.

That's when it hit me how we live our lives as cats and dogs. We love only when we want or need it, and we are rejected because we want or need love. Both of these animals need and want the same things, but both are to teach us a valuable lesson.

And of course since God is within everything there is always going to be a meaning until we no longer need meaning in our lives. What I mean by that is when we give up the story of who or what we think we are. For the cat their story is going to be one demand or demanding of peoples love and affection. "I just want you to love me the way I want you to love me, and if you can't I'll ignore you."

From a cat's perspective we never receive love out of approval, reward, and surely not to let you become attached. When we become attached to a cat they ignore us like a hot potato. They want us when they want us. I know in my own life I can relate to being the cat story many times in my life. I'll love you only if you do this, this and this for me, if NOT....I'm out of here.

When it comes to the dog the total opposite is true. It will do tricks for love, listen for love, and take a beating just for love and the list goes on and on. They say that a dog is man's best friend, maybe this is true in how the dog can awaken us to our very own "need" for attention.

From a dog's perspective we never receive trul love because we are always seeking approval. The dog comes with needing you to tell it when to use the bathroom, when to eat, when to sit, when to lay down, when not to speak, when to speak. It's total control and domination. I know, without a doubt that I have played the role of the dog many times in my life. Maybe you'll love me if I just do this for you, or if I let you walk all over me maybe the, just maybe you'll see how much you are hurting me and want to hug me. Isn't that what a dog does? It keeps taking the command do this or that, don't do this or that. Try telling a cat what not to do and you'll find yourself in a whole world of stress and agrreviation.

Can these two animals switch and change? Absolutely but only when we give up the story that is attached to them. Meaning, if I'm attached to the belief or idea that YOU need to love me, look how strong and independent I am; or if I'm attached to look how weak and vulnerable I am YOU need to protect and love me, then we are always going to-and-fro. As long as we are not able or unwilling to accept how we keep projecting "Don't need you, I need you", then we are always going to need a story.

This morning I woke up not able to fully breathe. I slept well last night without any event, but this morning I began to struggle. I struggled to know that I was going to be okay as I struggled to get my breath. I took a shower and did the netti pot, I took some "Air Power" and then I gave up. I didnt' even brush my teeth, I got out of the shower and told Dwayne he needed to take me to the doctor this morning.

Of course he went on and on about how I could work on myself, that I didn't need to go and that I was over reacting. OVER REACTING? Are you serious right now. But that's not what went through my mind. My mind instead realized that I was not the body, but that the body was in distress. So I lovingly looked at him and said, "I hear what you are saying but I think I need to go in anyway." Wow, I'd never been able to say that to Dwayne before. Before I would have cried and yelled at him how he was trying to let me die and he was trying to kill me. LOL...I guess I don't need that story any more.

So as we are driving in I stay focused on the white light, there was no fear, just complete calm and peace. Then I asked Dwayne, just out of the blue, "Why is it that everytime something like this happens to me you act the way you do?" He said that was funny, he was just thinking about that. He said, "I realize that that's how I'm doing that. That I don't take care of myself and I just let things build in me."

There were no need for words, just complete silence fell upon us in the car. It was as if I wasn't in the car anymore but somewhere where I could heal. I had given up the story, the belief that Dwayne didn't care about me. But upon further investigation learned that he was projecting not being taking care of.

Now most people will tell you I take care of my body. I don't know why it wants to hang out at the weight it does. I could go for days without eating and weigh the same exact thing. I'm not worried about it. I love that I have a body so that I can feel things, experience them on a grand scale and to be separate from it all, even if it is just within my own mind. Even if it's just for a split second.

So the news is "I'm going to live". LOL. As I'm sitting in the room I feel something that I hadn't felt in a long, long time.....MY SPIRIT. I could feel it all around me. I could feel the love all within me. I could feel my body healing as I sat there waiting for the doctor to come in. When he came into the room I think I threw him off with my jokes and laughing. I had forgotten that I do that when I get sick. I forgot how loving I get, I forgot how absorbed in Spirit I can really become. So as we're joking and carrying on I know without a doubt that God is LOVE.

I don't care why I got this way. Whether it was from crying over my dad's death, my friend leaving town, or the process that I did that brought my mom and I closer together. All that mattered in that moment was my complete feeling of peace.

I told my daughter last night that I didn't mind being sick because it just does something for me. I love the way the sheets feel, I love the way the soup taste, I love the way I can't breathe, I love the way the showers feel, and I love the way my body feels as it's going through purging itself of toxins. Now I know why I love it so much. It's the way I release myself into becoming more love.

When we go through shifts and changes there comes a time when we should feel this within our bodies. These are clues to us that we are changing. The person that feels that if you are connected to God you shouldn't get sick, well I have this to say to that. I love that I believe the story that I'm disconnected from God just so that I can enjoy what it feels like remembering HIM all over again.

I'm coming to a place in my life after doing these processes, that I'm realizing that this was just a way for me to experience God's Love outside of myself just so that I could find it all over again. It's like wrapping up the present you bought yourself for Christmas. If it was just yesterday that you wrapped it up it might not be so exciting, but when you wrapped it up over 6 months ago, you've forgotten about it. I have forgotten what I have wrapped up.

I've already taken the pills the doctor has given me. I'm already feeling better. Funny, as he had his hands on my neck I told him how good that felt and that he could do that harder. LOL, we all laughed.

I love it when I get sick because it brings me closer in remembering the God that I have externalized and made unreachable. Thank you God, for my illness today. Thank you for the coughing, the lack of breath, my husband who brought me here today and the doctor that you so perfectly put with me today. I got to experience more of you today than I have allowed myself in a long time.