Everyday for the past week I have drawn the Nurse card before going to bed. This card is asking me to reflect on how I take care of others more than I do myself. I had to also think about the Hebrew letter Dalet, which means door, or threshold. I do feel that doors are opening for me and opportunities are right in front of me. But there is another way to look at a door. A door could be the surprise that's just waiting to jump out at you, or it could be something you are trying to hide, or hide from.
No matter where doors are they always lead you to another focus of attention. I mean, if you go through your bathroom door, you're no longer in your bedroom unless you are half in and half out and what purpose would that have in your life? When we open a door it's usually because we've had a purpose in going there, and it's because we are ready for some form of business in that room.
So I looked at what I continued to do to myself with this card. I could look at it with all the missed opportunities in my life, but how did I miss anything? All things are according to a greater plan. With this said, I understand the message Jesus taught about not wanting what your neighbors have. Isn't that interesting? We actually can see how wanting what our neighbor has brings us straight to missed opportunities, I should have been this, I should have done that.
There are no neighbors out there, only reflections of my projections of what I think I am missing in my life. The opportunities and awareness that are right in front of me screaming, "Here I am". HUM?
How do we use this to our advantage? How do we take what we see and own it? It's hard sometimes because we don't want to admit that we missed our mark. We want to say that everyone else is missing their mark. We want everyone else to be the sinner. I'm not the sinner, you're sick because you're the sinner. Well, what we see in one is what we don't want to see in ourselves, or what we see in others we do see in ourselves.
Getting back to the nurse in me and my doors. How do I keep giving away my voice? How do I keep closing doors that I wanted open but nailed shut instead? It's easy! I'm afraid to be all that I can be, I'm afraid that one door will open up and I'll no longer be able to find my way back to "this" illusion. The illusion of my "not enough" doorway. As long as I'm a nurse I can say that this is always someone else that needs more attention than me. As long as I'm a nurse I can say they are sicker than me. And as long as I'm a nurse I can believe that I have more, do more, and know more than other people. Let me tell you something, NURSES can be really sick people themselves. Just look at the obesity rate within the community. I know I was one!!!!! And you don't have to have the legal title of a nurse to be one either. You can be a nurse within your own home, work, business, or whatever. Oh, and some nurses starve themselves. We want our patients to eat but then we fear food ourselves.
But what door really needs to be open within me to allow this to flow effortlessly? COMMUNICATION! Absolutely, 100% communication with the world around me.
This morning there is ground fog and I can barely see the neighbors in the distant mist. Even this is a reflection of what I am barely able to see. I can see in the distance that there is an opportunity ahead, but that my water is still settling down. I am learning that there is no one out there to nurse but myself. When I understand this completely with all of my heart and soul then, and only then, will I be able to be a true steward of my nurse, ME! When I nurse others and know it is me!
PS....as an occurance happened this morning with clear communication the fog lifted and I could see everything very clearly. We get our signs that quick!!!!
This can seem a bit overwhelming in our society. There are just so many more people than in Jesus days. LOL....but that's the reality of it all, we are all to become Christ. We do this with balance within ourselves and taking full responsibility for what lies in.
Today, I will recognize my doors and open them effortlessly for I know that it is God's Will that presents them to me. Whether a black door or a white door there is always something grand to learn and grow from. Trust me, I've had my share of black/shadow doors. And I'll continue to go through as many doors as God feels is necessary for me. I surrender to what I believe so I can see what is REAL.
God, thank you for the many blessings you bestow on us each and everyday.
Belief Statement: When I used to decide what door to go through I felt confused and divided. I know that when it comes to making a choice that I used to feel I always made the wrong ones. I gained confusion and frustration while losing everything.
Spirit Statement: I know the doors I go through confidently and united while knowing that all is written and right with confidence in everything.
I watched "Hildago" last night. I happened to come in on the movie right where the Cowboy is pulling a competitor our of quick sand. The competitor wanted to die and to be left there, but the Cowboy pulled him out anyway. When the Competitor awakened he said it was "written" that is be God's will that he should have died back there. The Cowboy said, "What about the Will of my horse to pull you out? What about the will to live? It is what happens in the end that is written. That is Gods Will."
It just makes so much sense that we all go around thinking and saying, "It was God's will that I should have done this or that. But even within this movie we hear that is not so. God's will is what is! Then it is written. So stop beating yourself up, Velvete! LOL
You see it's about trusting that no matter what door we go through that God is always there waiting for us. Some of us like the excitement of the struggle and God is more than willing to provide that to us and help us through the greatest light. Just think about how sad you might be or have been in the past, then realize that that much joy and happiness is waiting to be discovered behind "YOUR" closed door.
Are you lonely and without a relationship right now and want that more than anything else in life? Then that door is only closed by you, no one else. One the other side of that door is the greatest relationship anyone could ever hope for, LOVE.
Peace be with you today as you go through the doors in your life today.
