While meditating on this letter today I realized the projections I've put on other people regardin their health. As I meditated I continued to say, "Here I am", to allow the connection. I found that my mind ran all over the place, to the kitchen, to the office, to even going beyond time and creating something out of nothing.
I would bring myself back gently with "Here I am" and something began to shift and change within me. I realized all the times that I didn't want to be here. All the broken relationships, ended marriages, all the bad stuff in my life and I didn't want to be there/here.
It was then that I realized that all that stuff that I "thought" was bad and that I wanted out was for the depth of understanding who I am today. All of those relationships were a way for me to see myself. When I wasn't having fun I decided to run further away instead of closure to what I was.
I am here leads us to pick up a book that needs to be picked up, go for a walk when we need to go for a walk, to cook a particular meal or invite a friend over just because it's what's being asked of us in that moment. No matter what you think about it, it's what God's going to do with your life in that moment that counts.
So after my meditation this morning I was led to pick up a book. Upon opening it I was told this is it, this is the page you are to read. LOL, I had to laugh becuase the information was about paying attention. Paying attention to our emotions. Through this expansion of paying attention and being aware of our emotions we are able to better see if we are aligning to Source or if we are denying Source in our lives.
This takes on many forms but if you are not happy with your life what you are saying is that I'm not listening to Source, I'm denying Source in my life and I'm going to do it my way. I'm over here, God....not here!
When we are here we are present with Source at all times. We are now able to pay attention to what is instead of what is not. Take for instance you're standing in the grocery store line and this handsome man starts talking to you. Instantly when we begin to judge the reasons of this mans intent we knock ourselves into a different reality. But when we recognize that "I am Here" and that God is too, then we are able to listen, interact and enjoy the experience no matter how brief it is. I can't begin to tell you the number of times men just come up to talk to me. I listen, I listen because I know they are God speaking to me. I don't say in my mind what would my husband think, or I shouldn't be talking to this person, and I don't worry about this persons intent. I am protected as I am present in God's Love.
Our emotions can help us to know what is it in our lives that we feel lack for. When we are not present and somewhere else in our minds then lack immediately begins to occur, why? Because you have just disconnected yourself from Source, the provider of all that is and ever will be. You think you are creating it, but until you know how to stay connected you create only more illusions. Illusions of pain and suffering.
If you are feeling lonely then you are not here. If you are feeling tired for no reason, then you are not here. If you are feeling that someone is about to take advantage of you then you are not here. Listen to your heart and the reasons that you are led to do what you do. You will find that you are more abundant in all types of relationships. And maybe that's what really scares people the most.
Here now, your guilt is not that you have done something wrong, but that you are not here, you want to be some place else. It's your own submission that you KNOW you are disconnected. Trust me, been there done that.
Belief Statement: I am here to be present and love and this feels overwhelming at times. I don't know if I can do this while gaining understanding and losing myself.
Spirit Statemnt: I am present in love at all times and know understanding is self.
What do you need to process today to let yourself know really how you feel about connections?
