Yes, It's 6am

As the alarm is getting ready to go off, yet again this morning I am struggling with keeping blankets over my body because now Dwayne has rolled over to look at the clock, yet again. This time it's almost as if he knows it's getting ready to go off because shortly after he does this the alarm does go off. Almost like he was waiting for something, but what.

He finally hits the alarm and gets out of bed after I make a comment. I lay there thinking "is this how I'm going to start my day?" I tell myself there is a message here for me and that I'll figure it out later. So I turn over to go back to sleep, now only to be awakened with Dwayne in my face trying to give me a kiss good-bye. He must sense that he should not have done that because he's now acting like he didn't do that at all.

Dwayne leaves the room with the cats flying through the door as soon as he opened it. At this point he's becoming frustrated and I tell him it's okay just leave Fluff alone. But instead of doing just that I'm now left with hearing Dwayne struggling with door, feet, and Fluff. I'm thinking in my head, "God, what are you trying to tell me?"

I roll over yet again but something just doesn't feel right. I'm starting to feel very off and disconnected, of course the alarm clock can do that to me anyway, but this was different. I notice that the light on my cell phone is on, which was turned off when I went to be last night. So I decided at that point I would get up go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and just see what happens. When I come back to the room I pick up my cell phone to turn off the light and I noticed that the clock said 6am. I looked at Dwayne clock and it said 5:55am.

As I'm walking out of the room I'm calling Dwayne on his cell to see why he left so early this morning. Just as I get the number dialed and it's ringing I notice he's sitting in the chair. I ask him why is he leaving so early this morning and he had no idea that it was that early. You could tell by looking at his face that he could have used another hour of sleep.

Dwayne explains how restless he was last night and felt that it was because he was over tired. I could see this in him. Dwayne looked old this morning, tired, and worn out. Now of course the hunting trip probably helped with but nonetheless he's experiencing being tired. He tells me he's going to be late because there is a headlight out in his truck.

At that very moment I had to laugh. I knew without a doubt that I was getting a deep and profound message from my spouse. God had allowed me 4 full days of being within the silence and taking a break from the reality of my projections just so that I could be at this very moment in life. Of course I wanted to scream! But realized that would do no one any good. I wanted to scream because the projection could not be missed.

Let's break it down:

Dwayne getting up before the alarm clock (I am trying to wake up beyond my time)

Dwayne is tired from hunting (I have made myself tired from all the hunting I've been doing outside of myself)

Kissing me good bye when he knows not to do that (I'm kissing myself good bye when I know I'm not ready)

Dwayne tries to go back to sleep after hitting the snooze button (I am trying to go back to sleep)

As I look at this I can truly say this is me. I know God has asked me a number of times, where are you going? What are you doing?, Only to find myself right back where I started. It's like I wear myself out thinking that I need to be doing something, instead of just relaxing and enjoying the ride.

I was sharing with Dwayne last night some of the little miracles that occurred while he was gone and how I realized that life comes to us. That the only time that we feel that we need more of anything that we are immediately pushing the gift of abundance away from us. It works in such a way that you're told just go look in the freezer and what you needed is right there for you. Another reminder that life is happening backwards. I think when we get that part of it figured out that we'll just allow the flow to naturally occur.

Dwayne's not tired, he's tired from keeping up with me making him spin around in circles over and over, and over again. How many of us do this to our spouses each and every day. And even if you are not married, you're doing it to someone.

Today is a phenomenal day because I'm up, I'm awake and I appreciate God giving me the opportunity to learn what it is that I've been doing to myself that makes me feel I have to run after the dream. The dream comes to us just as effortlessly as when we are asleep at night. Our dreams at night are to help us remember this ease, security, and more.

Belief Statement: When the alarm goes off the third time I feel pissed off because I'm thinking enough already get your lazy ass out of the bed. I'm gaining frustration while losing sleep and peace. (LOL...making it real, keeping it real, keeping it extreme. I never called Dwayne a lazy ass. How could I, he's married to me. LOL)

TRFI: When I go off the third time I feel pissed off(angry) because I'm thinking enough already get my lazy ass out of the bed. I'm gaining frustration while losing sleep and peace.

Spirit Statement: I am on NOW in love knowing enough doing in calm awareness with peace.

The spirit statement is who I really am, the belief statement is a reflection of the opposite of this. It's upside down, or backwards, but still away back to the light. We are never our alarm clocks, our work, or our frustrations. We are simply being in the moment of enough.

So what have you had ENOUGH of today? Mine is enough doing! It's been shared over and over and over again with me that all I am doing is creating more work for myself. Maybe some of us are not at that point in our lives that we are totally ready or able to surrender to this idea yet. That's okay....you'll be able to keep working at it as long as you need or want.

Love, Velvete