Just looking, then just keep walking!

While giving a massage this afternoon I had thoughts running in my head.

1. How much I didn't like people coming in to the health food store just to look around? I spent so much time with folks to help them with their issues only to have them tell me they could get it some place cheaper, usually Wal Mart. Their own ignorance about quality made no difference to them.

2. How I was really angry at myself for not finding my voice, value and ability just to tell it like it was or is? I've always been told I needed to watch my language because I had the ability to cut people in two with my tongue. Not that I ever did that on purpose, it just happened.

Well this morning I had a dream that I was eating something and I found a screw, nut and washer lodged between my teeth. I pulled it out and it was all rusty. I took it to the cook to show him what he had done to me. While massage my client I realized I was giving myself a big message. But what.

To look at my lips being screwed shut, not speaking out my truth. But what truth was that? I realized that I wanted my voice and I valued myself because only I have the ability to do what it is that I do. Not to say that someone else can't do what I do they just don't do it the way I do it. We are all like that. The reason you cut your hair with a particular person is because you like the way they cut your hair. Sure there are others that can cut hair but not the way you like it.

It's amazing how quickly this works. After the massage my client paid me in advance for all of his sessions and a lady came in after he left. When I asked her how I could help her she said, "I was here a year ago and there was a health food store here." "Yes, Ma'am but we've changed it all to services now."

She continued to look around as if she was ignoring me and so I asked her if I could help her find something. She said, "No I'm just here to look". I looked her right in the eyes and said, "And that's the reason we don't have a health food store any more, people just coming in to look." She looked at me, wow! But she was still smiling and so was I. I was serious, honest and to the point. I thanked her for coming in and she left.

So I thought about this some more and realized what this woman was telling me. People we have to be committed in what we are doing in our lives. We have to be willing to stop looking all over the place and stay with one thing long enough to make it work. Am I talking to myself? You bet. I realized at that moment that I was not consistent with valuing who or what I offered. Not everyone is going to like me, not everyone is going to be satisfied. It's not up to me to save the world, just myself. By loving and honoring who I am I build the strength necessary to make it to the end.