"I'm Fine", the struggle within!

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Yesterday morning I wrote about how I was awakened to do an exercise of staying present. Each time I moved to the future or the past the voice asked me how did that make you feel. Well, that happens to be one of the questions in the 7-Step Process. The reason we ask that question is to bring an awareness to you how you feel about a situation when you think about it. Because it's by understanding how we truly feel about something that we come back to the heart.

At any point when we are living in the past we are disconnecting our self from Source. This Source is our guidance, our love, and appreciation and our ability to just BE. So if we are constantly thinking, "Well, I should have done this or I should have done that", it immediately brings pain to us. And if you say this is not true and that you are fine, then why do you feel you should have done it any different. But avoiding or resisting saying it doesn't make it go away, it only builds. The ego is very good and making it all run around in circles. Being honest with yourself, deeply honest sets you free.

When we move out of our own business and into God's business or the business of another then we immediately, again, disconnect. We no longer listen to that voice that is guiding us. But say that "our" voice says, "Oh, yes this is a good person and you need to hire him/her", you do it but then something goes south with the relationship. It's not that that inner voice was wrong it's just now, you didn't get your lesson out of the relationship, and it's doomed to repeat. And I say doomed only if you were unwilling to see the person as yourself. And if you are the person saying, "I knew this was going to happen", then again, you are in should've land.

Anytime that we feel that we are better than another person, or that we know more than another person, or that we are going to Heaven and that other person hell, or even hoping that a person will be punished for their wrong doings against us; WE ARE HOPING THIS FOR OURSELVES. My father-in-law said one day that he hoped that a man would get the chair. I said to him how that we will all be saved. He quickly looked at me and said this man isn't going where I'm going. Well, this may be true. This man may have done God's will without questioning it, or he may have refused it. I don't know. But what I do know is this; it is not up to us to decided who's going where. If you have laws and rules in place on Earth then so be it. The person that's doing God's will also has to live by the law of the land. But what happens next may be very different.

But I notice something else that happens among people that think they "Know" God's will. They are quick to respond to you how right or wrong things are. And that they are unable to answer a simple question of how that makes them feel. As written within Higher Mind, Lower Mind that when you are unable to answer this question you are projecting. Why? Because you now don't want to take ownership of how this is making you feel, because to feel it means you have to own it. And we aren't talking about a question of what "if" we are talking about a real live incident, communication or situation. So if we say someone is an asshole, this is not real and is a judgment that is coming from within the individual describing the other person because of past experiences. Usually when we think people are assholes we stop listening to the lesson and we have to have another asshole to take over the spot where the other person left off. We don't project questions into the future because it hasn't happened yet and NO one knows what they will do until they do it. Plain and simple.

Getting back to God's will, when we become fearful of the lesson we disconnect. If we say that we love and trust God then why is it we are unable to be at ease within a storm? It's very symbolic at best. We all have internal storms that lay their dormant in our lives, just waiting to release. As many of you know, when I went through the 40 days and 40 nights I had many internal storms, many fears and worries that my life was going to end. That is nothing more than what an external storm is trying to tell us. When we have complete trust in God we have confidence in being where we need to be when we need to be there. Just think about the story when Jesus walked on the water. Hum! Interesting isn't it? My mother thought I was nuts standing out on my porch during Hurrican Hugo, but that's me...I welcome the storms in my life because I know it's my way to heal.

So who's will is it if a storm takes your life? When we see people that have died because of storms many of us immediately say, "Well they should have done this or that." That's a projection and judgment and now you are in someone else's business. AND, if you are so RIGHT with God they why do you fear death? Why do you fear the storm?

And if you are so right with God then why not be confident in what you know and allow others to know what they know? Why don't you trust God to be there for everyone? And why is it when something bad happens to a community that we immediately say that God is punishing those people for their lifestyle? We've done it sense the Biblical times. It's all to show us how divided we are within ourselves.

After a group of friends last night I asked God, "God, I know without a doubt that my ego was trying to push me into believing in a reality that was not so and move me from the grace of love and light. I know I don't need a sign from you for my heart is your heart. You know what I need and I leave this in your hands." After this prayer I noticed some books that a friend left for me to enjoy. As I opened the book it fell to page 82, which equals 1 when you add it up all the way through. And here is what is written:

"Nothing outside ourselves can make us suffer. Except for our unquestioned thoughts, every place is paradise." "Before a thought, there's no one, nothing- only peace that doesn't even recognize itself as peace." "You can only be conscious now. Everything you want is here in this moment."

I looked at my husband and I read to him the above. A tear came to my eyes of how close God is each and every moment in our lives. Not a tear of sadness but of the joy that ripped through my heart at that very moment confirming, making stronger within me; what I had been saying all night when people asked me to think about the future or past; and that I could not do it because I knew that my peace was only now. There is only now folks! And when we are living any other place in our heads we are disconnected.

Think about what really bothers you. It's not really a job or person that would bother you but rather what should be happening or should have done that begins to bother you. Sit quietly and allow this to come into your heart and you will see this is true.

One of our friends was driving home before the storm hit last night and got stuck in a ditch. After everyone left I told her how we have to stay present and that's when we are at ease and life flows. She started laughing and said how true that was, because as she was driving the hail started falling and she said, "Great now I'm stuck in the hail." LOL....immediately she slid into a ditch and her right rear tire got stuck. She said that it wasn't until she decided to relax and know that God was there for her to teach her something that someone came up and pulled them out. We both laughed so hard, because we know it works that quickly. But she was the one that didn't have faith and said, "I'm stuck in the hail." Your wish is my command.

Jesus taught us to meditate and to stay awake, remember? He also taught us not to worry about the clothes on our backs or the food on our tables, remember? By the way, "stay awake" means to stay present. Stay within what is real, not within the dream. We are all abundant, NOW!

Dreams. Think for a second is there really anyone there with you when you dream? Is there really a wife, a daughter or even a tree? And how is it that we are able to fly all over the place in our dreams? One minute I'm on top of a mountain top looking down at NY City and then the next minute I'm changing a diaper. Where is your IDENITITY within that dream? You see, when we are one with everything and are everything we have no identity that we become attached to. But once we have become attached to an identity then we suffer. So when you think a person should be this or that, it's only your identity you are struggling with, not the other way around. They are who they are because they are you.

LOL, so I decided to pull out the Bible to see what the message was and many of you will think I'm making this up but it's TRUE. I opened up the bible to Matthew 8:26. I'll just let you read it in your own time. I even used a bible that I don't use everyday. It was one of my father in laws books. You'll understand what verse this is referring to within this blog once you read it.

Loving God with all our heart means that we have the faith in the NOW. It means there is no reason to project ourselves into the future of the what ifs because it's our thoughts and emotions that are creating our reality. Loving God means loving your brother. It doesn't mean you have to give up your beliefs or that you have to take theirs away from them, no one can do that. It simple means being present and loving what is.

No belief statement today but rather an exercise in staying in the moment. It's not your future of knowing how things are going to play out that brings you peace, but by being in the moment that brings this peace. There's no out there out there.

Love, Velvete