"Clarity"

Have you ever wondered why there is so much confusion out there? Why can't people just send a simple email and answer the questions direct? And why all the need for emotional contact and comments when people don't understand something?

Well, this has been going on as soon as we stopped grunting. Yeppers, grunting at least told us when we didn't want someone near us and grunting allowed us to know when someone was pleasing us. LOL Maybe we should all go back to non-language. We just think we are more intelligent because we can use big words, but those big words have gotten us in to miscommunication.

But how does that happen and why? You see it does do the body good to ask why and how. It helps us to learn and grow. If I didn't ask why in church I would have followed some pretty crazy things in my days, or I should say things that didn't' feel right to me. You know that gut feeling that started all the grunt work. LOL

Anyway, how we get clarity is by understanding how we feel when we read, say, or think something. Without understanding the feeling tone behind it we can't begin to understand where we've gone unconscious. Yep, unconscious. Ask anyone how they feel and you'll notice immediately how unconscious they go. All of a sudden they have this whole story they are sharing with you and it has nothing to do with the question you've just asked. I just asked you how you feel, not what you thought or were thinking. Just tell me do you feel happy, content, joyful, what, what is it?

Well at that moment there is silence, like Christmas Eve night, not a sound. Then you hear, "Well, I don't know how I feel about that." Really???? Then what the heck was that whole story about. And there you go...the way the ego keeps you unconscious. It makes that story up so now you can believe you are right or wrong about how you feel, what someone did or didn't do, what you did or didn't do and more. And it even gets better. Ask someone what they need!

Instantly when you ask someone what they need they look at you with a surprised face and say, "Well, I don't need anything." Really, again really? Are you kidding me? If you didn't need anything then why are you here? Why are you even talking about that story like it just happened for the 100th time and now it's become such a part of you that you can't live without that story? YOU need that story to keep you in the lie!

So when you find people bringing up history, there is something that they needed that did not get fulfilled. They are still lacking what it was they needed and now they are having to live it out again and again and again. So when a friend tells you, "Remember when you?"and fill in the blank, "Well I still remember that and I know how you're going to be to me." What they are really saying is, "Remember when you _____ well I'm still hurt from that because I didn't let you know what I needed at that moment and time in my life because I was too afraid to be vulnerable." That is alllllllllll they are saying!

People, wake up! When we see something that bothers us it's because we have that same issue within our own lives. When you find yourself projecting your problems on to other people it's because they are tooooooo painful for you to deal with and now you want someone to SAVE you. It's easier for us to blame someone else for how we wish to avoid how we feel rather than owning it. So if you are not being honest that you are hurt what you are going to do is continue to hurt others. If we are honest that we are hurting we now have a way to explore and understand "HOW" we are doing it.

So keep asking WHY do I feel this way. Keep asking HOW am I doing this to myself. Keep present that it's all about you! It's okay for it to be all about you right now, because then one day you will wake up and realize it's not about you at all. Until you take that baby step you can't leap frog.

So my pearls of wisdom to you today is stay alert by listening to how you are feeling and what is it that you need out of any and all relationships. Ponder on what you are doing and get your head out of the clouds of judgment by saying it's so and so's fault. I'm this way because she KEEPS treating me like crap. Really? Are you serious? If you are then so be it. Embrace your misery! Love it like no other lover. Until we are able to love it like we've never loved anything before will we be able to see the gift that it is. I speak from experience! Can you tell? I've had my share of dark moments and that's okay. When I run from them they do me more harm then good. But when I sit and embrace them they become my lover, my guide, and my total liberation.

My (lets say Jane) told me one time that I was the most hurtful and hateful person she ever knew, but in her defense she also told me how smart and loving I was once or twice. :) Now grant it she only told me this after she shared with me how she disrespected someones need in her child not having soda. Jane said, "I'll do what I want to that child. A little soda never killed anyone and she just needs to know that I'm going to do what I want when I have that baby." Wow! REALLY? And you call me hateful, hum? So I asked Jane to maybe ask the mother of this baby what her needs were while keeping the baby. Immediately this person said, "I got to go. I'll talk to you later." I felt the shift, I knew what just happened and it happens all the time. She woke up a bit.

So it wasn't very long after this that Jane called to tell me what a horrible person I was and that I'm the most hurtful and damaging person she knew. Hum, again! So I listened and listened and listened without remorse or hurt within myself, but only for this person. So after listening I said, "I understand and I hear what you are saying. And I can see how you would perceive my line of questioning...." She cut me off. She didn't want to hear it. She wanted me to shut up. She said that I was uncaring and could not hear her and didn't want to "OBEY" her. Hum, again!

After listening for some time I finally asked, "Would you be willing to see how you do this?" She asked me what I was talking about so I proceeded to explain that she was judging me as hateful, not caring how others felt, didn't want to hear what they had to say, just did and said whatever I wanted without consideration to other peoples feelings. Jane immediately said, "This isn't about me it's about you."

This is a real example of how people don't want to take responsibility for what they do. So this woman who was bragging about not listening to the wishes of this young mother, and bragging about how right she was and that she didn't care what the mother wanted....was now giving me the lecture of the very same thing. And all I did was ask her to consider someone else's needs. Gezzzz.....you got to love how we've built this world of illusions.

But what was it that this woman was really upset about? She was upset because now someone was asking her feelings and needs. She wanted to go back to sleep. She was mad at me because I was now saying something that was causing her to wake up and consider her story was an illusion. I got ready to say, "I'm more than happy to let people project on to me", but then I thought about Jesus. LOL Talk about projections! And many are still using him as a projection.

Since I knew Jane was hurting I turned it around and decided to see if she would let me know what she needed from me since she wasn't getting it the other way around. She first said she wasn't going to play my mind games, but I continued to ask it in a way that she finally understood. I asked her would she be willing to tell me what she needed and how she felt.

What was interesting was this, "She needed me to listen and respect her so she could feel compassion and love from me." Now what do you think that new mother needed and how do you think she was feeling? Interesting isn't it. And gives you a better understanding of how we project. So the next time you think someone has wronged you stop and take a look in the mirror.

Hey, it's a great day just because. I've been up since 3am and I'm ready to go. I don't know what God has planned for me today but whatever it is I know He loves me and I'm here because I love HIM. So peace everyone and enjoy your beautiful, gorgeous day.

Belief Statement: No matter how hard I make things on myself I know I always have God and this makes me feel loved. I sometimes don't understand but I'm willing to learn. I gain confidence while losing confusion. (Good one, huh?)

Spirit Statement: I am myself always knowing God is love. I always understand learning is confidence while focused.

Be good!
Dr. V