"Judgement"

Everyday we are taught not to judge others, but really what does that mean?

Now look at the above statement this way: "Everyday we are taught not to judge others, but really most don't even know what that means".

Can you tell the difference in the two statements and how one sounds like I know more than you about this subject?

A lot of issues on Facebook, within work situations, and even in our own personal relationships could benefit from using language that is clear and non-judgemental. How can we not help but to judge someone when we have to assume what they are saying, thinking or feeling? I have also discovered with myself, friends and family that the reason that we would rather not express our needs, desires, feelings and thoughts clearly is because "NOW" we're afraid we're going to be judged based on what we want in life. And, if we all had clear language and no one misunderstood us we would have to take responsibility. Can you see how easy it is to say that it's all everyone else's fault as long as you are not clear with them?

My trips in the car have been so much different for me these days. I am able to witness what is actually taking place rather than assuming what the other person is doing. Say for instance someone comes over in your lane and cuts you off, immediately a reaction is necessary to compensate for where your car is to avoid an accident now. If we were able to just do that then there would be peace within our world rather quickly after making the corrections needed. However, have you ever been in the car and this happen to you and all of a sudden you start calling the person an idiot and how could you do that, or he's just stupid? I have! I'll be the first to say I have and I'll be the first to say that the feeling of the judgement actually would last longer than the correcting of the vehicle. Think about that for a second.

Now this can go for anything within our lives, even art. What makes one piece of art beautiful and good for one person but not another? When we look at it this way we realize that we do have a call in our being, something we are attracted to. When we look at art, I mean really look at if for the very first time, we notice colors, shapes, and details that we could not before. Try it! Instead of looking at a painting good or bad, be willing just to look at it and see what happens.

How have I gotten to this point? The HMLM process is evolving for me as it will for each person that reads it. How in the world can we make a connection with the subconscious mind when it's full of beliefs/laws? The main law being this is good, this is bad; Duality!

When I had breakfast this morning I ordered a grilled cheese and while I was eating this meal I found myself saying, wow the cheese is really creamy and soft, the bread is toasted and that the food went down with ease. Where as if I said, this grilled cheese is good, what makes it good for me doesn't make it good for another. And this is judgement. We have to be willing to look at everything that we judge because it's our judgements that keep us separated from God.

I used to say what a beautiful day, well that was judging too. What is a beautiful day for me may not be so for another. Yesterday would not have been beautiful for some people in this world within my standards, and there it is.....within MY standards. You see? But what did happen brought peace, freedom, and realization. And now someone can ask, "Well what brought you peace yesterday?" and then I could expand on the experience of the day.

It is important to keep our spirit statements true to what we are seeing and keep our perceptions within check. Why? Because perceptions come from your beliefs and your beliefs are based on your own need for self gratification. It's all about ME!

Okay so you don't believe that? Then let's look at it this way. You have a belief that you are doing something for another for their own good, what core need are you saying that you need out of that? Why do you need anyone to do anything? If you are not in it for ME then why not just let the person be who they need to be?

When talking to parents about this they become very resistant because they say, "As long as the child is under my roof they will do what I tell them to do because I know what's best for them." A number of things can happen to a child that experiences this, they can become rebellious, stubborn, or they could even isolate themselves more. I know I did! I was sick all the time, as well as my sisters, as kids with bloody noses and throwing up. Being told that your needs don't matter harm us within.

In staying true to this subject today I will not assume why parents do this, they all do it for different reasons. The one I hear the most is that it's the Christian thing to do. But if we took a moment and welcomed the child to tell us what they needed from us would this not be clear communication. But a parent, my own, said to me one day, I don't care what you need, I know what's best for you and you're going to do that. My heart hurt from the pain of that discussion. But now, as an adult, I see that this was their own pain in not having the needs met. You see? When we don't get our needs met how are we going to allow ourselves to allow others their needs?

I'm going to make up a statement today to give a good example of how clarity helps relationships.

Belief statement: When my daughter ask me to go out on a date I told her no, I felt this was for her own good because she doesn't know what she needs right now in her life but I know what's best for her in the long run. I gaining anxiety while losing peace.

Now I'm going to stop right here because I have discovered through researching this that most parents that do this, had something they are hiding from their own earlier years in life. It would be so beneficial to the child to be open and honest about what our needs were at that time in your life and give the child clarity rather than assuming the child is going to repeat the situation that you're hiding.

Spirit Statement: I allow myself to date my need for knowing life with confidence and peace.

Simple and true. I will be holding a workshop on Judgement September 11th at 10:30 until we are done. Normally the classes end at noon. If you would like to attend please just let us know by calling 903-886-7046 or by emailing us at highermindlowermind@yahoo.com . We look forward to seeing you.