As I thought about my life,
I pondered over all my strife.
As a child left alone,
no one to love, no one to hold.
I cried myself to sleep at night,
keeping myself hid with all my might.
The yelling and screaming within my head,
would make a sane person wish to be dead.
I cried myself to sleep at night,
keeping myself hid with all my might.
Wanting to escape the world I saw,
I learned to paint and even draw.
But even then my heart broke in two,
because the man I loved said, "I do".
I cried myself to sleep at night,
keeping myself hid with all my might.
Sure there were pleasures here and there,
but then there would be something that wasn't fair.
Sleeping in a car one night,
I said, "this just isn't right."
I spoke my voice to the man I wed,
I do not wish to be dead.
I pulled my strength from within,
and drove myself to home again.
Only to see disappointing eyes on me,
another trap for me to see.
I cried myself to sleep at night,
keeping myself hid with all my might.
There came a night I could take no more,
and decided to close God's great door.
I took what I could to go to sleep,
without a single sound not even a peep.
Only to awaken to that voice,
of anger and hatred of my choice.
What, I must ask,
have I done in the past?
Why am I still here to bare this again?
What did I ever do to deserve such sin?
I cried myself to sleep at night,
keeping myself hid with all my might.
As time traveled on I did what I could,
seeking those to marry and hurt me they would.
It was not them that hurt me you see,
it was only me and the anger for me.
I hate who I am and where I have been,
separate from God once again.
I know he awaits for me to awaken,
but my joy inside has been taken.
No one really took it you see,
it was only me hiding it from thee.
There is no one to blame,
for the choice of my game.
But rather this game that I play,
helps me to learn the final way.
I cry myself to sleep no more,
for I have ended my pain and opened God's door.
It was through my angry heart,
that allowed me to see my sadden start.
It was through a choice I made,
that truly kept me as a slave.
Now caught in the wheel of time,
I had to find the reasons why,
I placed myself in this big black hole,
only to forget and abandon my soul.
I cry myself to sleep no more,
for I have ended my pain and opened God's door.
With the choice to be free again,
I only had to look within.
Once I saw what I had done,
I begged for forgiveness to the Son.
But a gentle voice spoke inside of me,
"This is the way it's suppose to be.
I trusted you with this truth,
so that I could always be with you.
For what God brings together,
no man shall tear apart, EVER.
You are whole My Child of Love,
now allow yourself to soar like a dove.
Cry no more the tears of pain,
but rather bring the summer rains.
I loved you with all my heart,
giving you all of me not just parts.
So feel your anger and rage inside,
for it is what reveals the total lie.
How else would you find me if you could not seek,
what was always inside of you was really meek?
I have said it before and I'll say it again,
it is the meek that will inherit the heaven.
How else will you find meekness here on earth,
if first you don't experience its true worth?
Cry no more the tears of pain,
but rather bring the summer rains.
I hear a child from inside,
that once told this wonderful lie.
It was so elaborate you see,
that everyone had to come and rescue thee.
But the child continued to lie some more,
only to have people shut their doors.
Then one day while all alone,
the wolf did appear to pick his bones.
The boy so trapped within his own illusion,
that all disappeared without a solution.
Now his enemy appearing as self,
though totally wearing something else.
Not able to tell the difference any more,
he decided to give in and shut the door.
But behind that veil of the great illusion,
there awaits always the ultimate solution.
Cry no more the tears of pain,
but rather bring the summer rains.
Enjoy,
Velvete
