As we begin to shed the Ego or the Shadows there are brief moments that we flip flop around like a dead fish. Trying to discover where we are and how to sustain life within ourselves while being taken out of the environment we grew up in. Many fish die, but then their are others that do not. They have to actually be killed. A catfish, for instanst, I have seen live for days without being in the water.
My dreams confirmed for me last night what I was feeling. I dreamt that my youngest son had come home to help me rearrange the furniture and to prepare kids rooms. Don't know why, there were no kids in the dream. Then I dream I went to India with my daughter and husband. While there I was visiting a salon and having my hair done. I walked outside to look at their jewelry and all of a sudden it was dark and I was alone. I called my daughter to come pick me up only to have her say that I would be okay and that I needed to go through this on my own. So I called my husband, only to hear him tell me that he was lost and could not find me. While walking the streets, that were becoming darker and darker, I decided to hide in someone's house. I don't even know what I was hidding from. As I am in this little India home, and I mean little..... I could hear the door begin to open. I croutched on the floor in hopes that they would not kill me upon entering. There, appeared two men and a lady. One man said, "What, now have we opened a nursing home?" "Wait", I thought, I'm not old. They continued to do their business as if I was a part of the family and I decided I would show my worth by doing the dishes and making myself useful. Then their black cat came up to me and started loving all over me. I forgot my sorrow of losing my family, I lost my fear of being lost, I lost all feeling of needing to do anything. All I was doing at that point was admiring all of their stuff, dishes, clothing, furniture, foods, animals, etc, etc., I became one with the enivornment in which I was now experiencing. The young lady felt my heart was pure and got me back to where I came from, where it was now day light, and my husband was waiting for me.
The dream is telling me that until I am able withhold the light within me I'm going to continue to feel fear and the need to be doing something because the ego makes us feel we are rewarded, punished, or that we need to undo or redo something. I totally was in that place of "I've done everything right, so now what?". You see God doesn't reward us....we've been taught this from the ego. God loves us just the way we are. It's funny because that's in the word toooooooo, but no one wants to visit that.
If we could all trust this would our lives not be easier? If something leaves in our lives would we not be able to see that this was God's will? Why are we not able to allow God's will to happen? It's because we are stuck within this illusion of what we think we are doing, instead of experiencing life. You see, once I embraced my situation in the dream I was able to be lifted back into the light.
Belief Statement: I am afraid when I get lost that I won't be able to find the people that I love the most in my life and this makes me fearful. I don't understand why we lose anything to gain it all. I'm gaining frustration while losing time.
Spirit Statement: I love finding myself in life and this is loving. I know I am abundant in everything and calm now.
I realize that it is only my fear of the unknown that keeps me doubting myself, but there is nothing unknown.....all can be revealed and I will see that everyone was just a fragment of who they really are, ME!
Awareness opens the possibility for Alignment and the Willingness to Release. Free yourself of illusions within YOUR reality. What are you creating that makes you feel disempowered?
