As many of you can tell from yesterday's blog I was completely in the flow. I was happy and moving along quit nicely until I closed out the register. I had to laugh because I thought to myself why or how could I expect this amount to be any different when I new that on a customer shopping level it was low.
I decided to go ahead and take care of the bookkeeping that was necessary so that I would not have to be bothered with it this morning. As I'm sitting there tears are filling my eyes and my heart is aching. It was at that moment I knew that I just fell back into the lower mind and that the only way to bring myself out of this was to address my feelings. So as I'm sitting there laughing and crying all at the same time I say, "You've got to laugh about this, but how am I going to stay in business with this type of day?" LOL
As I'm pulling out of the parking lot there is a truck that pulls in front of me that is carrying a trailer that says, "Remodeling". I giggles a little and said, "Wow, when I ask for my signs I really get my answers quick." I realized at that moment that a part of me was being recreated and remodeled.
So as I'm driving home this truck turns right and I stay straight....as I'm getting ready to make the turn to my road I noticed this truck in front of me again. I get this feeling this truck is going to go down my road and it does. All the while I was like, Univese what are you trying to tell me. At this point the feelings are really strong, I'm crying and mad all at the same time.
But just before I turn into my drive way I hear a voice that is so loving and says, "What are you resisting, my child?" I cried like a baby. I was weeping so much that it was hard for my husband to understand me when I finally got around to talking about it all.
As I'm sitting at the table crying and telling my husband the story he realizes that I'm a reflection for him as well and that he too got signs of resisting that day. Now of course he feels comfortable in saying that his resistance is built in so that he doesn't blow his system out. LOL>...what's all that about? Love you, honey! Even when he got a sign of a safety net and said to himself when he saw this, "I just don't know why they just don't push the guy off and allow him to be caught by the net?" Well Sweetie, because we don't push anyone to do anything that they are not ready for. Even when they set it up to protect us they still don't push us. So they are just saying take your time you're only holding yourself up. (There was traffic, :)
Anyway, it wasn't until later that night that I realized that my only resistance was to the thought of losing the store. Yep....I was resisting losing the store. I laughed so hard. I had allowed the store to become my identity, a way for people to see me in the community, a way for people to look up to me, a way for me to feel more empowering then others. What the heck was that all about???????? How did I allow myself to fall into that trap? But then I realized that we all do it. We become identified with what we "DO".
About 3am I realized that my resistance to losing the store was why so many clients were so attached. They just couldn't let it go. Clients would say, "You've got to be here, I don't know what I would do without you. You're a life saver, blah, blah, blah....." I had set these clues up for myself to allow me to see that I had become attached to the store. With this created, I set it up to where the client were now attached to me. Wow!!!
Of course on my way to work this morning I'm trying to find my balance. After a healing like that it takes some time to intergrate. I'm going to use this quite time before the staff arrives to understand how I feel about the store and my attachments to it even further.
LOL....this store and I have really been working on this for a long, long time....10 years now. LOL.....I remember one time telling my supplements, "Okay guys, all of you need to find new homes today." LOL....now if that's not attachment I don't know what is.
Releasing our attachments will not be the end of the world, just the end of being the false prophet. I am a false prophet when my life is not able to reflect who I am. Who am I? I am! That's right. I just I am. There is nothing more that a person needs to be or do in their life when they can just experience the I am.
Today I'm going to experience the I AM. I'm going to be present and allow Spirit to move and guide me into the journey and sea of life.
Belief Statement: I am so attached to this store that if I lost it I would feel sad and angry. I think about all the hard work I put into it and all the hours spent on healing myself through this space. I gain frustration and lose hope.
Spirit Statement: I am able to release the store and find happiness and joy in knowing work is easy in healing myself now while calm with hope.
Spirit Statement: I am the I with happiness and joy knowing the experience is healing peace and hope.
I had to step this an extra time because we want to get to the full extent of the lesson and clear spirit statement. Because the store and I are one that's the reason for the second 'I' in the second statement. Remember it's not about anything but you. It's not about the store, your church, your car....it's all about you.
I welcome everyone to take something that you relate to like your job, church, or children and process it so that you can see what you really feel about yourself. For those of you that struggle with work this is your attachment and safety net. You feel that as long as you have that job and something to complain about, something to make you feel lack, then you are safe. That is EGO. Not letting.
After going through this process myself I realized that my husband is holding a big block (fear) of letting his job go. He wants to be a farmer, I say he's already one. But he is holding on to a job that he feels is not fulfilling because it gives him security. Folks, this is a false sense of security. Until we are able to release the attachments of why we think we need something then it will always block our flow.
For me.....I have totally laughed this store thing to death. LOL....I mean so what if I lose the store? Who's to say that God doesn't have a different purpose for me. If I hold on to this and strangle it to death then I'm doing the same to my soul and to myself. So as long as I'm here I'm going to enjoy what I do and assist the staff to enjoy what they do, and assist the clients/customers to enjoy what they do and their experiences. How? By enjoying what I do first.
LOL....I wish I could share more...but I think this is enough for now. The sun is coming out to play and I want to go do the same.
Love you all,
Enjoy,
V
Awareness opens the possibility for Alignment and the Willingness to Release. Free yourself of illusions within YOUR reality. What are you creating that makes you feel disempowered?
