After my usual meditation yesterday I decided to do a little research, however that research made me tired, confused, frustrated and angry for no reason. Was it the research? NO, it was my experiment with daydreaming.
I am preparing a class for this Sunday on "Visualization vs. Daydreaming", so shortly after my meditation I did my experiment and then I thought, "I can pop myself out of this anytime I want and I'll be fine." What I found/learned next was simply amazing.
Going through books in my library to support my presentation I get a text from a friend to go on what is called a "flow" day. This is with a particular person that created this healing technique "The Flow". I tell him no that I have a class that day, after looking back I didn't have a class there, it was for the following day.
So I continue to look for these books and all of a sudden I noticed that I am turning to pages from the references that are 147, 347, and 111....then I pull Eckhart Tolle's book off the shelf and I notice there is a business card in it. I open the book and it's page 11, I look at the card and it says, "Flowwork.com", I turn the card over and it's this persons business card.
Now what's interesting is I have not read this book and must have taken it with me during one of my classes (PK) while in Dallas and never got time to read it and put it back on the shelf and forgot about it.
I call the friend back and tell him about my experience and I let him know that I'm not taking this as if I'm suppose to go to the flow weekend but that there is something more here. He agrees and leaves me to figure it all out.
Well, Dwayne comes home and all of a sudden I feel angry like he just stopped me from doing something, I didn't want dinner, and all the animals were acting crazy. As I'm sitting in my chair, avoiding dinner, and holding all these books now to try and figure it all out I just got so tired. I became more frustrated, more tired, and more and more, and more angry. I couldn't stand my own body at that point.
So I put all the books away and started processing what just happened. I was getting my clues all along. You see, when I am in the flow I don't need books for quotes, and to validate what I'm getting ready to talk about, it just comes naturally. Naturally allowing all that are on the webinar to have the ability to hear it, see it and experience it. I realized I had fallen into an old pattern of Ms. Busy Bee and I needed to get out quick.
But then it hit me, this resist was helping me to feel that this world was real. And then I got it. My experiment was to allow myself to daydream after I had done the meditation and visualization to see which one would have an affect on me.
You see when we meditate our mind is quiet, it is one with everything. When we visualize we are only taking a moment to see the end result. For me in the past it's just been clients coming through the door and it happens. I don't sit and figure out who's coming, I just see people coming in. Yesterday I visualized orders coming in on a secret place I have on my web that allows me to see who's watching the webinars, and bam....it happened.
But when I daydreamed, OMG...that was much harder to pull around. I felt tired, I felt angry, frustrated and upset. Then I realized that when we are daydreaming what we are saying is I don't want to be here I want to be some place else and we drift off. This drifting off robs us of our power, it robs us of our creative flow. This world can now never be as good as the illusion that I have just gone deeper into.
Well, if the ego loves resistances in order to build it's own proof that this world is real and that everyone is out to get you, would it not stand to reason that coming back to it from your daydream that you'll resist it even more now? Well of course you do because now you have just built a whole new world in your head to escape to and not be real with yourself and face whatever it is you are resisting.
And then that's when I had my process. I had to go back in time to see when was the first time I felt the need to resist someone telling me to do something or that I should have done something. It wasn't pretty let me tell you.
But......the process freed me. I was able to eat again, I was able to talk on the phone, I was able to watch my husband sleep without a reacting to it and I slept like a baby. And the animals finally settled down. You see they are sensitive too. They know when we are home and when we're not.
Please join me this Sunday for our service at 10am CST. If you miss it you'll be able to listen to the recording later. Just click our web address and click "Sunday Service".
Belief Statement: When I live in the past I feel tired and frustrated and angry for no reason. I don't understand how things could be going so good and then so bad. I gain frustration while losing hope and focus.
Spirit Statement: In the present I am energized, calm and happy for every reason knowing everything I resist brings me peace, hope and focus.
You see we must be willing to take full responsibility for what we are resisting. When someone calls you up and you could care less about talking to them there is something there to learn, there is something there being resisted.
As I write this mornings blog I see my mind becoming more and more clear in understanding to stay out of the dream and into what I am resisting in order to free myself from the illusion.
Love, V
PS, shortly after doing my process a friend called me and he shared with me that 11 is a complicated number because it not only means prophetic but also chaos. Hum? Interesting isn't it? We'll talk more about that Sunday.
