As I lay there in bed, in deep sleep, I'm dreaming this bonk, bonk, bonk sound is something that needs to be searched out. So while dreaming I'm looking all over the place to stop this annoying sound. At first it wasn't annoying it was just a sound, but then it got louder and louder. I realized that it was my husbands alarm clock. I'm ready to throw the damn thing away. However, I know he still needs it. And because I don't know how to operate it there was no way for me to know that it was going to go off on a Sunday morning. So I hit the alarm and tried to go back to sleep, but it was pointless, my mind was already on fire.
I laid there thinking about the class I'm getting ready to teach tonight and the books that needed to go with the course. I decided it was best for me just to get up and start my day.
After taking a shower I cooked myself some breakfast. I got to play a little bit because some one had given us some meat that was not seasoned, so I seasoned it into sausage flavored meat. Wow!! What fun that was.
I could hear the wind blowing as I was eating breakfast and decided that I better take care of the chickens early just in case rain was on it's way. While out there with the chickens I got to enjoy the morning, warm air. The wind blowing this warmness and coolness all at the same time. It was like being on the beaches of NC all over again for me.
I'm getting ready to head back to the house and our garden calls out to me. I had not been out to the garden because that's something Dwayne likes to do. I noticed how all the grass was starting to take over the planets, and how some of the planets had already dried out. But as I waked around I noticed all these tomatoes; most of which were green. But nevertheless, they were still pickable, and edible. So I start gathering the harvest only to learn that now my tank top has become a basket. As the tomatoes piled up so did the peppers.
As I'm standing in the midst of this massive garden that has grown up and the planets are dying off I stand there, I just stand there amazed. I think of all the beautiful things that this garden could bring into our lives. I think about how I would like to redo it next year. I think about how I'd love to just be out in the garden today weeding, tiling,and playing in the dirt.
Then my attention is brought to our herb garden and again I notice the little vegetation that is ready to pick. So I pick that garden to and notice that there are new blooms and fruit trying to come back to life.
I stand in the middle of the yard, looking at the overgrown vegetable and fruit gardens and the overgrown herb garden. I'm enjoying the breeze as it hits the body and I allow my mind to drift into the wind. At that moment I felt so much filled with the blessing of abundance. But all along I ignored it. I ignored my abundance and allowed the weeds to flourish instead.
After walking into the house I lay the fruits of our garden on the island and proceed to do the dishes. I was so thankful for the experience I just had of feeding and cleaning up the chicken pen, cleaning out my gardens and feeding the llamas, as well as just having a moment alone outside. I truly realized that there is nothing that we are without. That all things are in abundance and that the only thinks that we lack are the things that we feel are outside of our means to obtain. But the reality of it is there is nothing outside our means. The only reason there is lack is because of FEAR. Something that you are afraid of having or not having in your life right now.
I bought a ticket for last night's lotto and I knew I had won. As I searched for the ticket the voice inside of me asked why was I looking for the ticket. I answered back because I knew I had just won. This voice confirmed that I had but not in the way that I thought that I had. I couldn't find the ticket and the voice continued to tell me that I was now looking for something outside of myself.
OMG, I got it! I was depending on something outside of me to make me feel abundant, to make me feel happy, to make me feel complete. But what was really happening was my outside world was reflecting back to me how I was feeling on the inside. There could have been another person that would have pissed and moaned about the chickens, the garden, the vegetables dying. But what was real was the feeling inside of me, it had nothing to do with what was happening outside of me. I was creating that. I was aligning to my love within.
At that moment I realized this I found the ticket and it's almost like I knew not to even bother looking at it. It wasn't going to be the winner, because I was the winner. Did I change time? Well what's time anyway? Did I change the course of my life? Well what course are we on? Mine is one of love. I know that by learning love that I am able to undo my fears, undo my lack, and undo my illusion because all that exist is love.
The wind is still blowing furiously, my Cornish game hen soup has been cooking all night, I have a class to prepare, and I'm in love with it all.
I look forward to seeing my husband tonight and hearing about his adventures. I know he completely needed this little break and period of union with other men.
Today be pleasantly surprised by what unfolds for you today. Look around and see what you are blessed with and by. Look around and see your abundance. We don't have to own anything to feel this way, it's all within us.
I look forward to seeing what I whip up in the kitchen today. I think a nice fruit pie will go nicely with my stew. But we will see what unfolds. Big love to you all and enjoy this beautiful Sunday morning no matter where you are in life.
Belief Statement: The cats are jumping off the walls with the wind blowing through the house and this feels frustrating while trying to write, but also it's fun. I gain understanding while losing peace.
Spirit Statement: The excitement of my thoughts everywhere feels calm writing in fun while understanding peace.
Good message for myself today. So now I have some gorilla cats to go hug and thank them for being who they are.
